Don’t believe that God has abandoned you or is punishing you! What you are going through is leading you to a new Pentecost. Indeed, the descent of the Holy Spirit in our lives is often like a cleansing fire. Through the Holy Spirit, God the Father and God the Son are taking away the attachments that prevent you from growing into the joyful freedom of the sons and daughters of God. The things or persons or circumstances that are taken away from us by the Holy Spirit are not bad in themselves, but our attachment to them is inordinate, inappropriate, enslaving. The Holy Spirit has to prune us, the branches of the vine, so that we may bear more fruit and share in the joy of God.
What the fire of the Holy Spirit is burning away in you is your selfishness, your self-centeredness, or self-regard, your pride, your anger and resentment. To achieve this, the Spirit has to take away, at least temporarily, even good things to which you were inappropriately attached. Only later will you see the benefit of that “spiritual surgery”. But even now, in the middle of the suffering, God has special graces for you. You will open the floodgates of these graces, as you choose to trust in God. Like Mary and with her, you choose to say, “Here I am, the servant of the Lord. Be it done unto me according to thy Word”. As you choose every day, every hour of the day, to live out these words, you will receive more and more graces. The Lord will guide you and fill you with his Presence. Sooner or later, you will be able to say, “My life is no longer about me. You are my Lord.” You will see more of the good fruit of this surrender in your life and in the life of those you serve and love.
Do you need the cleansing fire of the Holy Spirit now? One of the signs is that your life is becoming too easy, too uneventful and at the same time, you want to control everything. That could be the reason God seems to run away from you. He doesn’t want to be sized down to your little expectations. Maybe that is why God has allowed my religious superior in Montreal to uproot me from St. Mary’s and to lead me to a place that I do not know yet. But already, I sense the graces He wants to give me.
Have a joyful Pentecost!
God bless you,