One of the most difficult things Jesus asks of us in this Sunday’s gospel is also one of the most healing: forgive. In this Sunday’s Gospel, Peter asks Jesus, “Lord, how often should I forgive my brother or sister if they sin against me?” Jesus answers, “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” In other words, forgiveness is not meant to have a limit.
Yet we know how difficult forgiveness can be. Some wounds are deep. Some words cannot easily be forgotten. Some betrayals change relationships forever. We may sincerely desire to forgive, yet find ourselves returning again and again to the pain.
But here is the truth: we cannot expect healing while deliberately holding on to resentment. Forgiveness does not say that what happened was right, nor does it remove the need for justice or appropriate boundaries. Rather, forgiveness means refusing to allow another person's wrongdoing to control the rest of our lives.
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison. After his release, he chose reconciliation rather than revenge. He famously warned about the destructive nature of resentment, comparing it to drinking poison while hoping that it will harm one's enemy. What a powerful image! Resentment promises to punish another person, but often wounds the person who carries it.
How, then, do we come out of the struggle to forgive?
First, bring the wound honestly to God. We do not have to pretend that we are not hurt. Tell the Lord exactly what you feel.
Second, remember how much God has forgiven us. In the Gospel, the servant's enormous debt is cancelled, yet he refuses to forgive a much smaller debt. We are also people who live by God's mercy.
Third, choose forgiveness even before you feel forgiveness. Sometimes forgiveness begins not with an emotion but with a decision: “Lord, I choose to let go. I cannot do it alone. Give me the grace.”
Finally, pray for the person who hurt you. Prayer slowly changes the heart. It may not restore the relationship immediately, but it can restore peace within us.
Let us remember: forgiveness is not surrender; it is freedom. It releases us from the prison of the past and opens our hearts to God's healing grace.
May we have the courage this week to identify one person we need to forgive—and place that person into the hands of Christ.
“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
God bless you all.
